Creativity and new direction are good, but don't be tortured by thinking that is your life purpose: sometimes you are supposed to experience destruction. I'm not just bleating out the usual clever story about how we have to become neutral and not prefer one thing over another... that is impossible! You can only simulate such a lack of preference, and what that does is to split you further into (1) a clever mind that is trying, trying, trying to get it right (whether "it" is success, enlightenment, spirituality, or whatever), and (2) a body-with-emotions that are weeping. Or raging. Or trembling with fear.
Yet I have found that as well as singing, Let It Snow, let it snow, let it snow, I also have to sing: Let It Melt, Let It Melt, Let It Melt. Because the change that is trying to happen is so much vaster than me, as I thought myself to be a me. I bet you can relate, but perhaps you are still hanging on to some version of yourself, some snowman, that won some contest long ago. The coal eyes have dropped out, someone ate your carrot-nose, yet you are still singing those same ole snowman songs.
A voice calls to me, sweetly, saying, "O Katiekins, why not agree to be melted and remade?" This is becoming more and more ok with me. There was really nothing there in the first place except an appearance of a person. And boy, did she suffer!