Instead of asking "Who Am I," let's ask "Where Am I?" We all live in a certain field––a climate, environment, domain or world that we think is Reality. Yet in fact where most of us live most of the time is in a field of memes (and yes, if you build it, they WILL come!). (If you don't quite know what memes are, jump to the next paragraph, then come back.) And one of the most prevalent meme-fields that has come to seem like Reality Itself (in other words, everything is judged by this as though it's the "norm"), is the scientific, reductionist, humanist, atheist meme-field. We don't even realize we are living in it, because it pretends to be neutral, but of course it is a religious cult just like any other. I was raised by true believers of this meme-field: British physicist, atheist, left-wing parents (God bless 'em!), and if I hadn't been shocked awake by an unsought, no-drugs spiritual awakening when I was 18, I would still be propagating this meme, probably for a living, as all my family members did.
What is a meme-field? I'm assuming by now that the word "meme" has hit the "meme-waves" enough that most people who read things on the Internet (you) have a sense of its meaning. I won't go into it in a big way (although I used to teach a long segment on memetics in trainings 20 years ago, when the idea of memes was still a new meme). A meme is a reproducible unit of information that gets spread through a culture like a virus. Beliefs are memes, as are snippets of song, or visual styles. YouTube videos of sleeping kittens are memes
But then there are the mega-memes that gang up to create meme-fields which are sometimes very dense and hard to get out of: the unquestioned assumptions that form the matrix of our cultural selves––the REAL World Wide Web! And many of these mega-meme-fields operate below the level of our conscious mind. They are assumptions we take for granted. And the most pernicious ones are those that pretend not to be memes––to be above all other memes, in fact; their "sheep's clothing," so to speak, is a blanket of cool neutrality (very different from real non-dual neutrality which embraces everything and never feels superior).
The punchline, according to me?.... It's all really chronic low-level depression and suppressed separation anxiety!
Now read on:
For example, how many times have you felt (and suppressed) a jolt of disappointment and depression when you hear someone haughtily express a meme like:
"It (life/reality/the universe) is empty and neutral and impersonal"?
We may think we believe this because we are enlightened, in some vaguely intellectual and/or Eastern way, but this is actually the dominant meme of the Western world, and has been for at least a century. In many groups, from Academia to many spiritual groups to pretty much all of science, believing this meme about emptiness and neutrality is the price of admission, the key to cool.
(BTW, my main point in this post is that we are in a conditioned thought pattern, aka a meme-field, that has emotional, rather than real scientific underpinnings. I'm not going to give much in the way of counter-memes to the "nothing" memes, beyond this paragraph, although much of my work is an experiential proof of the rich, living, loving presence that underlies all phenomena. There are many books out there countering the reductionist, "nothingist" meme-field. It's widely known, for example, that what was formerly thought to be an absolute vacuum underlying everything––the "Zero Point Field"––is actually not an emptiness but a fullness––known as a "plenum," in which spontaneous creative events continually emerge. This Field behaves more like a pregnant mother and less like an impersonal nothing. What seems to be a vacuum turns out to be a vast creative womb: the "Creator!" Some scientists call it an "oceanic field," and describe how ripples appear within this "Nothing" that become waves that become what we call things, and the material expressions of life. Obviously this is why this is The Infinite Wave website.)
Back to the cool, supposed neutrality of the impersonal nothing meme and its propagators: hidden beneath this overt, conscious meme is its subconscious shadow meme, that goes something like: "If you believe otherwise, you're a pathetic, dumb fool, projecting your need for love or a Santa Claus God on the universe." And below this contempt is an unconscious meme: "I'm afraid I might be a loser like you!"
So I'm well aware that saying "It's all love (or Love with a capital L)," can sound naive. The other day I was talking to a friend who has authored many books, telling him about my experience with Eben Alexander (see previous post) and his message that everything is based on love, and that this is a scientific fact. My friend started subtly rolling his eyes (don't try this while driving!). "What?" I said. "Well," he said, trying not to be too patronizing, "don't you know there is an equal amount of love and hate in the universe? It's all just opposites and people who believe otherwise are just denying their shadow."
Fortunately, at this point, this meme no longer shames or tricks me; I feel an inner compassionate, cosmic giggle when I see people caught up in it, because it often blocks the bliss of surrendering into Higher Love, aka our real Self.
This "rational" viewpoint, which is a psychologically-sophisticated version of the atheist memes I grew up with, is quite common among English people, Western scientists, and Eastern spiritual practitioners such as Buddhists (but is not what Buddha taught at all). The story goes that there is the field of interrelated opposites, beyond which there is nothing, whether you think of it as the Great Nothing, aka something cosmic and conscious, or just… well… nothing. In either case, it doesn't care about you.
My whole thang, the reason I've done what I do, and nothing else, for my whole life, is that I feel (like it or not, sometimes) the emotional content below the thoughts and posturings of clever mind. It's as obvious to me as nipples below a wet t-shirt, (on a man, silly!). What I hear below these intellectual statements of "Truth" is a child's deep story of separation couched in clever adult-sounding language. "There is no love in the universe (or it's icky and sticky) and I'm fine with that." Yeah, right! Or in other words, the atheist meme-field is the ego's attempts to process and rationalize not having gotten enough––or having gotten way too much––cuddling from mom and dad!!
What I've experienced in my own mystical awakening, especially in the last few amazing years of dissolution that I've been enjoying and not-enjoying, is this: What lies beyond the opposites of good and bad, love and hate, life and death, wealth and poverty, is an infinite flow that, by its very nature is Good, Love, Life (or Aliveness), Wealth (or Abundance), with no opposite.
I know, I KNOW, that this can sound SO wrong, if you are conditioned by the meme-field to which I have been referring. It makes more fashionable mental sense to believe that beyond the opposites is something neutral. But it's not empty, not really neutral, not nothing, doesn't see everything as all the same. That Oneness that lies behind Twoness, if you have really experienced It for more than a second, and in more than just your mind (again, see previous post), is clearly, obviously LOVE. Or at least, as Mooji puts it, it gives off a perfume like a very intense version of what we call Love.
Yes, there are all kinds of dysfunctional love. Yes, love can be a synonym for attachment, projection, the meeting of primal needs; we can even "love" a football team that our ego has identified with. So what? Love is love, not sullied by all our frantic simulations, and we know what it is, deep down beyond the meme-fields that have come to make up our sense of self and world. We know what Love is, because it is what we came from, what we return to and what we are right now, reading these words!.
In a wave of Love with you. xx