Because the rest is a dream, and it’s exciting and dramatic, like a movie; sometimes good and sometimes bad. And who wants to wake up from a good dream? It takes a lot of stamina to lift out of the trance of good brain chemicals (like when you just fell in love, or your preferred candidate won). The time you usually WANT to wake up is when love seems to leave, or your most unpreferred candidate won, or you or your friend got a bad diagnosis...
These are the moments when you want to pray, or believe in a benevolent higher power. But these are also the moments when it might not be so easy: you might also be hating that power, either consciously or unconsciously: feeling betrayed by it. The emotional pattern where a person says “I hate you, don’t leave me,” is called BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in psychology, and that is often the pattern between humans and our Source. In fact, it came up in a private session I gave this morning.
So what should we do when the outer picture of our personal or (perhaps today) collective lives scares us?
I’ll tell you what I did, which has brought me to a really good place of feeling love and Oneness and quite intensely present:
I used my own work on myself, (which I don’t always do, because I want someone to hold space for me––even if their techniques are Neanderthal). Having found myself from time to time in incredible fear, as the election approached, I had to inquire where this was coming from? After all, I have made it through enough personal holocausts in the last decade or so, with people around me behaving at time like Nazis ;-), and have risen happier, deeper and stronger. There is no personal threat for me in the election result. What’s up, Katie?
As I breathed into my feelings, I got that the political situation has been reminding me of my childhood––which was probably scarier than yours. And happened close to––and not long after––Nazism. If you’ve read my BIO you know that I was raised in a very politically-involved family that literally, truly, expected nuclear annihilation by teatime the next day, every day for years and years. While others, even in England, were enjoying the post-WW2 American Dream of new prosperity, my parents knew that more and more weapons were being stockpiled in the Cold War.
And they felt responsible for this nuclear dilemma––for quite a good reason, although they had made a choiceless choice to work as physicists developing the bomb to try to stop Hitler. I breathed in this sense of responsibility for saving the world in the family air, and it has never left me, although my way of serving and helping has been far from political (because I saw mostly anger and fear and self-righteous hatred in the living-room meetings).
Recently, I have been feeling fear on behalf of vulnerable marginalized people. I particularly notice Hispanic people, as I’m fluent in Spanish and friends with many of them. I know how innocent and loving they are; how they have escaped death and poverty and work tirelessly and humbly to send a few dollars home to support their parents or kids. I don’t want them to suffer. I don’t want anyone to suffer. I don’t want me to suffer.
So, how to resolve the suffering that so many are feeling, or fearing?
We have to know—actually know in our guts, like the feeling of gravity––that there is no power in the appearance of things. There is no power in any apparent person, situation or institution out there. It’s all just a movie happening in human minds colluding in a truly ghastly story of conflict and right-wrong duality. And even very “spiritual” minds get caught up in it.
Why is there no power in that? Because: there is only one power. In contemporary grammar: There. Is. Only. One. Power. Or you might call it Presence, or Intelligent Energy, or Divinity, etc. But whatever you call it, there is only one of It (I’m capitalizing It to refer to the Infinite One). And It’s everywhere. It doesn’t just fill every point in the universe (which is called omnipresence); It knows everything (omniscience); It is the only power (omnipotence) and here’s the extra piece we don’t always hear: It cares personally about each one of us in the most tender, deep love beyond anything we can imagine. It created and sustains us within Itself. We exist within It.
But, (as many have asked): how come all this bad stuff happens?
The answer is that we have lost touch with this One Loving Infinite Presence. We were given free will to have an adventure, and we are at the stage of the adventure where it’s time to cry uncle and come home. Coming home is not in the future, after death, or even at the end of a long meditation retreat: It’s always-already-actively welcoming us back into Its Love.
The challenge is:
(a) to TRUST this Presence enough to have the will to wrestle our attention out of the fragmented places it goes to, when we get scared (and there has been extraordinary anxiety in the collective for years). And...
(b) to know HOW to quickly tune back in to our source connection. Source never went away. It’s not “out there,” in another dimension. We are the ones who created a fake dimension made of thoughts and imaginary identities, and we are experiencing the downside of that right now. We are like fish in an ocean that have encased ourselves in plastic wrap so we could have a separate existence. Perhaps we even have a water supply and oxygen in there with us (fish do need oxygen, right?). We have completely forgotten that we were created and live within an ocean of alive, intelligent, loving presence that is designed to supply all our needs, including precise guidance and instructions that will lead us to the right place, time, and situation at any moment that we tune in to it.
So, again, how come all this bad stuff happens?
It doesn’t happen when you are tuned in and surfing the infinite waves. Of course, change happens, but you don’t experience it as dangerous, scary or unfair. Once you get aligned with the Real, the Flow (all these are names for same thing that isn’t a thing), a flow of large and small miracles opens up, that benefit not just you, but the collective. The collective (i.e. the millions of minds slugging it out in the argumentative meme-fields of human consciousness) will continue to experience disasters and horrors. We can affect and heal and lead the collective towards peace, but first we have to disentangle ourselves from the web of beliefs that are our buy-in to this strange bardo of “the world” (a mental construct, not the same as the earth, which is real).
But little by little, a few souls are slipping out of the web. This doesn’t mean that you start feeling superior, and criticizing those who are still caught in the fear. I know for myself I can be back there with mass terror in an instant. And I’m not talking about alternative political movements, although they are fine, and (Lordie help us!) I’m NOT talking about obsessive conspiracy theories about “them,” and the weird oxytocin bonding that goes on in such tribal identity groups, that––OMG–– sometimes even think they are “ascending!” Huh? Get a job and/or go feed some homeless people instead of sitting around talking about “them!”
But I am talking about ascension; it’s as good a word as awakening or enlightenment––it’s Western Mysticism’s version. Getting back in direct contact with the experience of Oneness IS an ascending, a RAISING of consciousness, in the sense that you see more from above the jungle than in it. But you also carry with you the full experience of having been IN the jungle, which gives you humility and true compassion. Lifting out of the illusory mind-world back into the natural state of fluid, living consciousness doesn’t mean rejecting anything or avoiding any feelings or shadow.
I’m not just talking about mindfulness. Fine though it is, I’m actually talking about plugging back in to a source-resource within our own body that is absolutely palpable. It brings forth feelings of bliss, and floods the whole self, including the mind and emotions. This is what I call the infinite wave or iWAVE experience (iWAVE is the technology I teach for experiencing the infinite wave). When this inner ability is unleashed, it intensifies whatever is in your way to full Oneness with the oceanic Source. So things may get temporarily worse in your experience before they get better.
Last night, that was what I experienced. I was doing my practices, and feeling a wonderful flow of joy and creative realizations and physical healing energies. I at first took it to mean that Hillary had won (my preference). But when I asked inside, I was told that this was not true. This brought another wave of undigested inner shadow material to the surface, so I kept doing my iWAVE practice. Then I began to understand the whole pattern of what is happening on the earth.
Short version: (and I’m sure I will write more about this). Everything is as it should be and an evolutionary process is unfolding. What had to come out of mass consciousness, including some quite ugly hatred, and long-suppressed feelings of resentment and powerlessness, has needed to surface for healing and release.
Yet beneath all this is a rising tide. The veils between human consciousness and realization of the Real, that Love in which we are all floating, are getting thinner. More and more people are sensing this, although it gets interpreted metaphysically (meaning “now my mind can fix my life”) whereas from my perspective, the actual shift we are entering into is MYSTICAL. (I explain the difference a bit in the post below). The difference between being on a metaphysical path (which is what most people mean by a “spiritual” path) and a mystical path is like the difference between a bicycle and a supersonic jet. You need to be strapped in, when you start surrendering to where the mystical path wants to take you, because it is about reconnecting directly back to your origin (always already present) WITHOUT DYING!
And, by the way, a shout out: HEY! Friends! You’re not dying! The world is not dying. That is just your body’s interpretation of this radical shift in human consciousness that you signed up for. Everything is undergoing a radical renewal, a death-rebirth process. If you dare to navigate this consciously, and let go of some of your familiar complaints about reality, there is an inner doorway (or a series of inner doorways, that then become one), that you can fall through, back into Reality.
Reality, just to remind you, is LOVE. There is nothing else. In my experience of working with people, there is a kind of underlying deep atheism that thinks that we are all there is, and we have to fix ourselves. Or that if there is something greater, it is empty, neutral, etc. “It’s not what happens, it’s how you react.” Like there is a threatening world out there “happening” that just does what it does, nothing to do with my shadow projections or anything, “but if I sit really really still I can feel some numbness... I mean equanimity.“
Darlings, these are just the parroted words of long lineages of disassociated male spiritual practitioners who have been denying their feelings (and avoiding their wives’ and children’s feelings) for millennia.
What I have glimpsed and sometimes bathed in for long periods of time is a reality of deeply caring, infinite-and-yet-personal Love that when let go into, will actually protect, provide, guide, heal, reheal, reboot, regenerate and resurrect me.
And the realization of this Presence, not just as a glassy-eyed moment of so-called “Now,” but as a fluid, ongoing energy we can ride on, is what I call the New Mystic Wave, which is rising up through human consciousness.
Let’s ride it consciously and deliberately.
As always, I’m here to serve this process any way I can.
(*Thanks to Swami Beyondananda for this electile dysfunction joke)
Love to you all, Katie