Which reminds me of my childhood, and also of my adulthood: "Universe, I want more of this, less of that, enough of the other," I whine. Yet recently It hasn't been putting new food in my bowl, so much as forcing me to slow down and notice what is there, in greater depth. OMG, the incredible, meticulous, detailed abundance, personally designed for my particular soul journey, that is already right here, right now!
Another similarity between me and Morgana (as you can see in the above short video) is that we don't respond well to the mental practice of "self-inquiry."
I have had these breakthroughs, but they are purely mental, and don't last––at least, for me, without the energetic equivalent experience in my heart, and my body. If self-inquiry is a masculine (mental) technique, I have found it needs to be balanced by the WAVE, which is more feminine, and since it takes into account the fact that you are in a body right now, allows an actual shift of brain chemistry that can make the cognitive awakenings sustainable. "And the word is made flesh, and dwells within us."
When I was teaching the week-long, biannual iWAVE 3: Meltdown trainings, I taught self-inquiry on the first day; I can tell you it was not popular, and in fact, that was why I did it! There are plenty of places: retreats, books, teachers, where you can practice these mental methods, and my students, especially by the time they got to level 3, were used to more effective methods that included the direct experience, in their body, of that Presence. When we stopped, and began exploring our real Self through the iWave practices, which is a very powerful inquiry in itself, but includes more dimensions of the being, they were very grateful that they were not going to be sitting repeating the same question over and over for hours.
It's really a matter of preference, I suppose, whether you prefer to be bullied, cornered, and starved into a realization of emptiness, or initiated through the inner doorways that allow a blissful fullness to flood you. I'm not kidding––it really is some people's preference to attain "states" through self-punishing practices. I sat for 2-3 hours of formal meditation for 12––count 'em TWELVE!––years, as a monk in my 20s! So I have been there and got the t-shirt. If I hadn't done all that sitting, I wouldn't have been so desperate to find a doorway into God that would integrate my body and feelings, and I would never have discovered the Infinite Wave.
Because, if you dare ask yourself, is this mentally acquired "enlightenment" really an integrated realization, or just a feeling of relief as your guilt and self-hatred briefly lift off? I know dozens of people who have been to India, or to the many offshoots of these teachings in the West, and a few days, weeks or months of inquiry does give them some kind of breakthrough. The person finally gives up and subsides, falls backwards, into the Reality of Self, that which lies beyond the persona (which means mask). But it doesn't last! I know several people who decided they had become enlightened through these practices, and became teachers, only to have the experience fade away, leaving them with a spiritual reputation to maintain... in other words, in Hell!
Now, the Reality to which these practices point is the same Reality to which this whole website points. I am just very committed to teaching practices that I have found really integrate a human being in a body, rather than causing an inner split, as the mental, "witnessing" practices did for me. If you are interested in more about this, read my blog "From Witness to Wetness."
And there are a few genuine teachers who offer self-inquiry as the only method for awakening. Well... one, at least, in my experience: Mooji! I spent 12 days with him in 2012 at two retreats in Portugal and Spain. He is extraordinary: the most loving and Christ or Buddha-like human I have ever met. He hugged me and told me in my ear "I love you, love you, love you." That didn't suck! Check him out on YouTube. He radiates pure presence and love. The thing is, although he teaches self-inquiry, he will admit that he didn't achieve his awakened state through that method himself. Go figure.
Who is it that is figuring?